http://darlingmagazine.org/posture-perfect

Posture Perfect

September 4, 2012 by Kelly Sommer

What ever happened to the scholarship of poise, posture and confidence?
I acknowledge that elegance is not a virtue I naturally behold. That being said, I openly confess that I certainly could benefit from attending finishing school, charm school, or any school commissioned to refine my delicacy of character or polish my manners. I am also certain that the outcome would be favorable; but let’s be honest, not miraculous!
In one of my hurried mishaps, I recently plunged myself face-first into a closed glass sliding door. The gentleman sitting opposite the glass, visibly stunned by my Ally McBeal-like calamity, was restrained enough not to laugh as he witnessed my body bouncing off the clean glass with a shocking thud. When I recounted this embarrassing incident to a family member, her only words were: “You’re like a bird.” And by that, she was not implying gracefulness.
Many of us desire to cultivate behavior and lifestyle practices that help us to look and feel our best. But where should we begin? First, let’s consider poise and posture. There is much we can glean from the lost art of poise, and the importance of posture for attractiveness, wellbeing and strength of both body and character. Poise and posture are states of balance or equilibrium; stability in the way we hold ourselves. When we practice good posture, we keep our body in balance. This is the basis for feminine composure. Additionally, poor posture is the culprit of many everyday aches and pains, leaving us vulnerable to injury. Case in point: Proper positioning while sitting at your desk or computer can dramatically reduce tension in your neck and shoulders. We also breathe easier and our blood flows more efficiently when our body is not compressed or misaligned.
Strengthening our core muscles plays an essential role in the development of postural perfection, and can be achieved through regular exercise—pilates and yoga in particular. Postural evaluation is also key. Seek an assessment from a professional, or follow these simple steps to quickly check and improve your posture:
-Stand tall, with head, shoulders and heels against a wall.
-Keep your chest up and out.
-Maintain a small gap behind your neck, and also behind the small of your back.
-Tuck your stomach in, using the stomach muscles to support your body.
-Keep both feet parallel and hip width apart.
-Have your head up, with chin level and parallel to the floor.
-Center your chin over your shoulders—not pushing forward or pulling back.
-Draw back shoulders, then relax them.
With time and practice, your posture can become perfect. You can apply these relevant principles to your upper body when sitting at a table or desk, and commit to carrying yourself with composure. Envision the African women with strength, beauty, and poise: shoulders back and down, head straight, chin up and centered, hips level, arms at equal distances on each side, and ankles straight. You, too, can be that graceful in time.
I’m not suggesting that your next Christmas photo need be one of you sitting on a white high-back chair, wearing a poufy dress with matching gloves, modelling a tiara placed fastidiously in an elegant up do, whilst holding a fan. We can all agree, that day is gone! Just remember that a self-assured woman walks tall and turns heads. Her composure and positive presence radiate confidence and contentment when she enters a room. She is not a debutante; she is simply lovely.
The world says “Strike a pose.” But we at Darling say, “Poise is striking.”

Photo credit: http://pinterest.com/pin/185069865907179812/

Paint The Town Red

September 1, 2012 by Kelly Sommer

I have always wanted to paint my front door red. A bright and beautifully bold red door sounds charming, don’t you think?
Sadly, my wish for a literal red door was expunged the moment I moved into a rosy-colored home; however, this desire has developed my thinking and moved me to desire a figurative red door, one that pleasantly forces me to adopt a new notion of hospitality.
What’s behind the red door?
For me, the appeal of a red door is it’s deep symbolism. Historically, a red front door means welcome; implying happiness, hospitality and place of safety. A red door heralds that all are welcome inside.
Often we focus our energy on styling or personalizing our home; we dream of renovation, decorating or re-furbishing projects. But how often do we ponder improvements to the essence and character that fills our home?
Mark Twain captures the heart of his home with such eloquence: “…to us our house was not insentient matter – it had a heart and a soul and eyes to see us with; our approvals and solicitudes and deep sympathies; it was of us, and we were in its confidence, and lived in its grace and in the peace of its benediction. We never came home from an absence that its face did not light up and speak out its eloquent welcome – and we could not enter it unmoved.”
This is a tall order, I know, but much can be said about us by the tone we set for our home, and who we invite in. Do we keep company with only those who are popular or successful? Are the poor welcome? How about children? When is the last time that someone with a disability was invited to a party at your home?
Who will we open our doors to? Who will we let in?
To help us answer this question, allow me to introduce you to Katharina Von Bora Luther. Katharina was a German Catholic nun who fled the convent at the age of twenty-four and later married Martin Luther, the leader of the Protestant Reformation, during the 16th century. The Luthers were known for their seemingly limitless demonstration of hospitality. They hosted many visitors; at times there were as many as thirty people boarding with them! Some were guests, and most of the others were boarders or students. They took no payment from anyone.
Katie tended to everything, including their animals, orchard and vegetable garden. She even slaughtered the animals herself and brewed her own beer! That’s right, she brewed her own beer. Please remember that this may have been Reformation times, but it was also Germany—and what makes for a better German hostess than the provision of beer?
Katharina and Luther modeled extensive hospitality and generosity towards the poor and needy. Despite their financial constraints, this notable woman of history managed to care for a large number of guests. Her table was surrounded by her own six children, and by students who would come to dine while sharing in theological discussions.
A great woman learns the art of hospitality.
Hospitality speaks of kindness, warmth, generosity and “welcome.” Like Katharina, one way to begin our new journey as a hostess who welcomes all is by seizing the opportunity to invite those who will be unlikely to return our hospitality.
Don’t be too shy to include those individuals who may be awkward to be around, or extend an invitation to people who are in a different age or financial bracket. If we overlook those with a physical disability, or those who are not well liked, not wanted, too old, too young, or just not “cool,” then we have failed to extend true hospitality.
Adopting a new notion of hospitality goes well beyond the literal décor of one’s home. Perhaps the role of hostess needs to transform into an all-encompassing endeavor, one that surpasses the superficial. If Mark Twain speaks truth about a home possessing a heart, a soul, and eyes to see us with, would yours emanate peace in its benediction?
So, Darlings, unlock the latch, turn the handle, and take pleasure in opening your door to discover never-ending “red door” opportunities.
Let’s paint our towns red!

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ugardener/2345895499/